Friday, March 06, 2009

A Cocoon for these Mortal Souls

I was struck by this article in today's Age.

It struck me because I was thinking about this whole picture last night.

You see, we've got this cutesy little herb garden on our front terrace - some struggling rosemary, some azn mint, a chili plant, some coriander and, most notable until quite recently, some basil.

I've sprayed these previous to rid them of a bit of a white fly problem, and discovered whilst doing so that there were pesky (and hungry) little green caterpillars on most all of the plants. They disappeared for a few weeks - yeayhe for the spray - but they're back.

But they're not back in a "Hi, we'll just be camped on your basil plant minding our own business" kind of way. No! They're back in a "Fuck you, try to wipe us out with your spray - we're eating THE LOT!" kind of way.

Seriously, the once proud and flourishing basil plant - the pride of the garden - has been stripped to within an inch of its life. Barely a single intact leaf remains. Funny part is, I couldn't see even one of the little green fuckers until I sprayed the plant again, which sent them twisting and wriggling to their (what appeared to be) most excruciating deaths.

So I got to thinking... "what the fuck were these little fuckers going to do once they had eaten every single last bit of basil?" Then it dawned on me. Of course! They are all going to spin themselves a little cocoon and begin the fascinating metamorphosis into beautiful little butterflies. Or ugly large moths. Probably the latter. Then they will fly away and find some other tasty basil plant that they can devour.

And then I read the article linked above.

WORD UP, PEOPLE! We cannae spin cocoons. We cannae metamorphose into beautiful winged space traveling type creatures. WE'RE FUCKING STUCK HERE!!

Now there may have been a time (in fact there most certainly were, throughout history, plenty such times) when maximising our population growth was a necessary tool for the human race to ensure our genetic survival. Famine and floods and disease and all manner of natural disasters have threatened the existence of our species. Organised groups of intelligent humans realised that to survive, we had to procreate. And in large numbers. The more kids you have, reason says, the more are likely to survive.

So large organisations like the Catholic Church created doctrines to guarantee the sanctity of human life. Every sperm is sacred, thou shalt not terminate an unwanted pregnancy, and so forth.

Now, a little ironically, it is our very own overcrowding which is contributing to the greatest threat to mankind in history. The exponentially exploding population will render any progress towards a cleaner planet (I'm not going to go into a green debate here, because, well, greenies tend not to be able to see the wood for the trees, but allow me to continue) absolutely futile.

So listen to what the man says. Stop having more than one or two children. STOP! It is just insane that we are in the process of stripping our very own basil plant to the bone, without the ability to pack up once we're done and fly somewhere greener.

Thank you.

1 comment:

Nordic Sculpture said...

So what your saying is that caterpillars should leave their Roman Catholicism behind and go prody?? Blue caterpillars would probably make great butterflies so I'm all for it