Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Don't arrive FRIAY!!

Well, wasn't that AWESOME?!

Another Golden Plains Music Festival come and gone.

Another few brain cells obliterated.

Another great time had by most.

The weekend started brightly enough with a trip by train to Braybrook (yes, Braybrook - look it up, it's not that far away) to visit the good people of Britz campervans. I may start a post about the state of Melbourne's Western Suburbs at some point in the near future, but it wouldn't make for terribly happy reading. Anyway, I was greeted with the news that, "Sir, you have received a free upgrade".

So we walk out to the parking lot and WOW! Look at the size of this thing. We just reserved a little tiny camper, not even as large as a family station wagon. And we end up with this MONSTER sized campervan. I would have been ecstatic, however last time I drove anything that high I knocked the top off it against a tree and it cost us $2,500!!! So you can imagine I was a little nervous driving that baby home.

So we head off bright (dark?) and early to meet up in convoy with the rest of our crew. Not many of us together this time - the reason for that would become apparent soon. So we head off into the darkness toward Geelong. Highlight of the drive? Surely receiving the phone call informing us that AFB had somehow managed to forget his ticket. Hilawious. So we have to reserve a camping spot for Andrew and Eddie. This is despite the official Golden Plains guide telling us that "under no circumstances are campsites to be reserved."

So we get to Meredith in good time - only to be held up by the obligatory road blocks. But we don't mind - we know we're in for a great weekend.

I call Good Old Fashioned Tim Clynes to find out where they're at.

"We're on the freeway!" he says with glee.

"Ummm, where exactly on the freeway?" I ask with caution.

"Oh, we've just left Melbourne. Can you save us six camping spots?"

AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!! So we're the ones who woke up and got orgyanised early. And now we're the ones who have to BREAK THE RULES in order to ensure everyone gets to camp together?

We get into Bush Camp, right next to our spot from last year, and proceed to "rope-off" about a hectare of prime camping real estate. Fortunately the camping police were nowhere to be seen, but it was quite a task to politely keep other campers from encroaching too far onto our extended plot of green.

So I think us early birds deserve at least a little regard for our efforts in securing base camp. I also think I should get extra regard (along with Shane-o) for providing and erecting MEGA-TARP! The big blue shelter that flapped and ripped its way through the entire weekend.

The newcomers: Kate "Beanz Meanz" Hynes and her able assistant Taz. At least made good on their payment of beers in return for a tent pitched in anticipation. which was great - seeing as they didn't even use the thing. which was bad - because it kinda meant that neither of them got lucky. Damn! ;)

Anyway. Great weekend. Didn't see as many bands as I probably should have, but that didn't detract from the fun times that abounded back at base camp. Great chat from most - good friends.

The Ferris Wheel was pretty awesome also.

The gay guys from last year, the Castlemaine connection - Paul and Dave - brought their respective lady friends this year in an effort to prove their heterosexuality - I suppose. This was subsequently undermined when the first thing Dave does upon setting up camp is pulling out a couple of QUICHES! Quiche? Jesus holy Christ, you're not doing the rumours any good, are you? I suppose, on the up-side - Sheena developed a big girly crush on Dave's squeeze Yodhi, whilst I went all giddy-like-a-schoolgirl over Paul's squeeze Robyn. Good times. Thanks to those four for providing extra laughs and good times. Hopefully we find an excuse to catch up before the next GP - but even if it's not until then I look forward to the next time.

Big ups to Mark & Shalini. Shalini for getting us on the Ferris Wheel for free, and generally being such a joy to be around. She even laughed at my banter, not once - but twice! ;) And Mark. Mark contributed the new business name to our next entrepreneurial venture. I can't tell you all what it is yet, but big ups to Markovski - genius, brother!

Dr Carl. Big regard to the great man. Never before has one man contributed so much to the advancement of body piercing as a handy way to carry your accessories. I'm running out this week to slice bits of my skin open so that I can use myself as a handy little carry-all. ;)

Now I will spontaneously blurt out "TOOKA JERB!", but I have no idea why.


I think my highlight of the festival may have been my dance extravaganza to Prince's "Little Red Corvette". I had to be reminded of my efforts the following morning, but I was assured that my improvisational talents would have had me past at least the first round of So You Think You Can Dance? In THONGS, no less.

Anyways... the drive back was harrowing - I'm not sure how many times I nearly drifted off to sleep. It took every ounce of will power to keep that van on the road. But hell, what a weekend.

Thanks to all who either pitched their tent close, or who may have dropped in throughout the weekend.

Big love to you all.

The Kingsley Kingston Guide to the Best and Worst of Golden Plains '09*

Of Montreal: I lived through the 80's. It was shit then, and it's still shit now. Why do you kids have to now worship the worst of all music ever produced in the form of bands like "Of Montreal"?
Four Huge Elephant Dicks Sucked.

Mogwai: Maybe it was a combination of factors ;) but these wee Scottish rockers did the trick for me. I was expecting something a bit more electronic, but their lush progressions with a bare minimum of vocal interruption suited the state I was in, and as a consequence get:
Three Thongs Waved from me.

You Am I: I don't care what the nay-sayers say. You Am I continue to put on great live rock 'n' roll shows. Tim Rogers is the perfect rock 'n' roll frontman, and the band continue to play loud and fast and tight and true. I couldn't ask for much more from them, and I cannot fathom the hoards of critics the next day claiming they were a "bit flat". FFS!
Three Waved Thongs from me.

Black Mountain: Not at all what I was expecting. I thought they were a little soft and poppy. I expected something rockier and harder, but they didn't offend me, so only:
One Huge Elephant Dick Sucked on this occasion.

* Given that I only saw a fraction of the bands on offer you may care to rate this review "Five huge elephant dicks sucked". ;)

PS: Anyone else that knows why this post is titled "Don't Arrive on FRIAY!" will earn a free drink from me upon next meeting. ;)


Andrew said...


shalini akhil said...

nice one mister. good times.

Andrew said...

You missed Brant Bjork and his bros, Three Thongs from me!

Black Mountain were better than 'One Huge Elephant Dick Sucked'!, Two Thongs from me.

Talked to a 20 year space cadet who though 'Of Montreal' were the ducks guts! Bloody youth of today!?

Anonymous said...

Firstly THANKS for saving us some tent spaces - didnt realise it was such an ordeal for you. Hope you feeling better now.
Re music I agree amongst our crew we tend to enjoy the fireside chats as much as watching the bands and you can hear most of it from a safe distance anyway so unless someone tells me there's a bunch of george clooney look a likes running around naked on stage i dont feel like i'm missing too much.
I loved The Church the best and Gary Newman second best. I wish I still had those posters from my teenager years as they would be up on the wall again right now! Some of the 80s were damn fine OK!

Quinny said...

What a great festival.My Highlights

Dan Deacon- Inspired set full of fun, boucability and more fun.
Three waved thongs held high.

My inflatable cow getting a kiss from the brilliant square cow perched on a stick.
Three udders and a glove

"Im Tim fucking 10 ARIA Rogers" performance.
More windmills than Holland. Edam good and he knows it.
Two thongs slung low + a windmill.

Geezers camper van.
Three thongs

Gary Newman.
Two great songs dont make a right. Still a twat for voting tory.
One thong and a birthday cake.

The DJ after Gary Newmans set ? Superb choice of tracks,Including MIA, The Police, MGMT and ACDC. I also liked the bright lights.
Three thongs.

Not catching up with you lot due to "circumstances" out of my control.

Being King for a weekend.

Cant wait to do it all again.
Biggest cheer to th organisers.

Quinny "the King"