Friday, November 26, 2010
So the other day I need to run some moderately urgent errands. Instead of going to my local shopping strip here in sunny Carnegie, I choose instead to venture to the monolith of Chadstone Shopping Centre. My local shopping centre doesn't have an Apple Shop, and I was hoping to pick me up an 11" Macbook Air. Well, I was going to play with one anyway.
I've got to go to a Post Office and purchase a couple of Platinum Post packs, but before I do I've got to print off a single A4 Word document. I go to the information touch screen thingy and start looking for a place that might print off my documents. Nada.
I go to Kmart to use their print shop.
'No, we don't do document printing, only photo printing.'
'Umm... lady, I used to do all my colour printing here.'
'No, we've never done that here.'
'You'll have to go to Officeworks.'
'But there is no Officeworks in Chadstone.'
'There is... on the corner of Warrigal and Waverley Roads.'
WTF? I flipping caught the bus here. That's, like, a twenty minute walk - at least!
So I go to the Apple Store™ and it is full of flipping wankers, both customers and young urban hipster type Gen-Y jerk sales assistants. That's right Clarke, you're just a flipping shop-assistant you douche. Anyway, they tell me they can't print out my document, because they're not 'set-up' for printing. Well I'm interested in this 11" Macbook Air here, and might want a printer to go with it. Are you able to show me how that might work using my own document from my own USB stick?
'We're not set up for that. You could try Tandy or something.'
So I go to the information desk (one of two huge sprawling information desks in the centre that are staffed by one person, usually preoccupied with a phone conversation, however if you are lucky you'll be waiting in a queue behind some woman wondering where she can redeem her shop-a-dockets and get free wrapping for her Christmas presents) and eventually am politely told that there is nowhere in the ENTIRE FLIPPING METROPOLIS THAT IS CHADSTONE SHOPPING CENTRE that does ANY FORM OF DOCUMENT PRINTING.
I'll have to go to Officeworks.
So first I go to the Post Office while I'm here. I ask the girl at the counter while she's ringing up my post packs if there's any chance she could do me a favour and print off just one teensie tiny word document. She gives me this pitying look and says, 'You'll have to go to Officeworks.'
She tells me people are asking them all the time to print stuff, but they can't.
So I flipping well walk to Officeworks in 32°C heat. Flippin' ridiculous. And after waiting for the lazy tardios at Officeworks to serve me I end up with a marvellous black and white, single A4 print out for the grand total of 8c! Well, 10c with rounding.
What a flipping Royal pain in the neck.
Flip you Chadstone. Flip you very much.