Hi, I'm Perez Hilton.
I've named myself after perhaps the dippiest broad on the planet.
I spend my life trawling through the garbage of human celebrity trying to attract as much publicity for myself as possible - thus making me a celebrity by proxy.
Ooooohh, Golly!
I'm also a raving homosexual. However, I'm not content in being sexually attracted to other men... I'm not happy unless I've rubbed my pseudo-politically charged same-sex dogma down your proverbial throat.
Which is why I think Miss California is a dumb bitch.
How dare she, a beauty queen, have an opinion that is both religious and traditional. Man, that makes me just want to spurt with girly anger.
I think for my next trick I might walk into a KKK meeting wearing a pink robe with a rainbow ribbon.
Wouldn't that be swell?
I just don't understand all of those gay men who don't want to rock the boat and show that it's the gay way or the highway.
Sisters unite.
Ooohh aren't I a naughty little schoolgirl?
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Perez Hilton wins the Kingsley Kingston Esq Memorial "DICKHEAD OF THE WEEK".
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