The next person that walks directly at me without watching where they are going is going to be met with 90kgs of me in their way.
I am taking a vow to not step out of anyone's way. Since when did it become the norm for people to just power through the footpath expecting everybody else to get out of their way? It is a modern epidemic, is it not?
I'm not saying I'm going to suplex the next unsuspecting geriatric who inconveniences me. I understand that the footpath is to be shared and we have to make allowances for other people, even if they are mobility challenged. No, I'm talking about YOU, Mr Hipster. You in your too-tight black jeans. You with the fat black rings INSIDE the piercings of your ears. You with the lip ring, the Buddy Holly glasses and the neck tattoo. You, you fucking jerk. You, you underweight over opinioned Gen Y'er. You'll be smirking through the back of your designer flannel when the wrath of my bulk baulks in YOUR way.
You fucking inconsiderate shit.