Thursday, May 13, 2010

Head-On Collision!

The next person that walks directly at me without watching where they are going is going to be met with 90kgs of me in their way.

I am taking a vow to not step out of anyone's way. Since when did it become the norm for people to just power through the footpath expecting everybody else to get out of their way? It is a modern epidemic, is it not?

I'm not saying I'm going to suplex the next unsuspecting geriatric who inconveniences me. I understand that the footpath is to be shared and we have to make allowances for other people, even if they are mobility challenged. No, I'm talking about YOU, Mr Hipster. You in your too-tight black jeans. You with the fat black rings INSIDE the piercings of your ears. You with the lip ring, the Buddy Holly glasses and the neck tattoo. You, you fucking jerk. You, you underweight over opinioned Gen Y'er. You'll be smirking through the back of your designer flannel when the wrath of my bulk baulks in YOUR way.

You fucking inconsiderate shit.


xxx
Until tomorrow,

7 comments:

Lilli boo said...

I couldn't resist commenting...LOVE THIS POST Bazza!!! That's all...

Craig D. Ising Esq said...

Glad to learn that SOMEBODY is still reading! ;)

Luv ya, Lil. xxx

Anonymous said...

I had an interesting experience in 2008 when I was in Rome. Always, everywhere, in every place I've been, people walk at me and I have to get out of the way. It was like that in the busy Termini railway station - until the day I wore a hoodie. That day, I swear, I walked a perfectly straight line from one busy end to the other busy end, and EVERYBODY got out of MY way!

Craig D. Ising Esq said...

Anonymous, whoever you are, 4TW!!!

Tones said...

Fact: Gen Y girls NEVER get out of the way of pregnant women.

Their time will come.

Bitches.

Anonymous said...

In Brisbane there is a very definite left side of the pavement and a very definite right side of the pavement. Keep to the left, just like you do when you're driving. It's simple. Then no-one gets angry no matter what type of body art they choose to have.

phoebe said...

so true! I say HAUL THYSELF at those pushy, asphalt-pumping, strait lining, inconsiderate calamity- clad individuals!